Nobody likes a break-up. Even the ones that you see from a mile away and feel immense relief afterward – they all suck. It is an inevitable reality of stumbling through your twenties and it’s something that we can sort of prepare for or even come to expect as we go from one romantic relationship to the next. However, it’s the break-ups with friends that seem to be the hardest to navigate, even if said friends are of the toxic variety.
What is a Toxic Friend?
Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a bad boyfriend. Think about what went wrong in that relationship. I bet it was amazing at first, right? For a moment you even thought you could be with them forever until you woke up and realized that you’ve been ghosted or that he slept with your co-worker at the company Christmas party. Initially, you think “How could this happen?” Everything was great. But then you slowly begin to realize that all the signs were there.
Maintaining a toxic relationship with a guy is really not all that different from having one with a friend. This is something that has taken me years to come to terms with.
How you were treated, how you felt, and most importantly how you overcame it. Everyone has one and if you’re really unlucky you might have more. A toxic friend can come in many shapes and sizes. Some used to be good friends that somewhere along the way took the Bad Best Friend Express. A toxic friend is many things but here is a short list to get the wheels turning. In my experience, a toxic friend is someone that:
- Makes everything about them
- Never asks you how you are doing after something huge happens in your life
- Doesn’t really check in
- Gets mad when you don’t pay attention to them but they don’t consider that they do the same thing to you
- They don’t care enough to keep in touch
- Is extremely judgmental and lacks empathy
- Gives only when it benefits them and are advantageous of you
- Always lets their jealousy trump support
Of course, in the moment you feel like you have the best relationship. You overlook those compliments that are really meant to be digs and focus on how close you two are. How you’re so close you’re basically family. Sisters, some might say.
But the fact is, every bad relationship you’ve had, has those moments where you think how great everything is. How lucky you are. It doesn’t make the toxicity any less real.
I know you’ve had toxic friends in your life – and I want to hear about them in the comments below.